The Rage Egg

Rx: Squeeze As Needed

You started life with about 2 million of these. You're down to your last few hundred. This is not a metaphor. This is just what's happening in there, and it's the actual reason you feel like this.

The Rage Egg isn't a stress ball. Stress balls are for people who are mildly stressed. This is for the specific, unhinged rage of forgetting a word mid-sentence, sweating through a Zoom call in January, or being told "have you tried yoga" for the fourth time this week.

Dosage: One (1) squeeze per rage spike. Repeat as needed, which, let's be honest, is constantly.

Side Effects: May result in slightly stronger grip strength, a much better outlook on your coworkers, and a newfound appreciation for how hard your ovaries have been working this whole time.

Warning: Do not throw at coworkers. We know you want to. Squeeze the egg instead.